we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
