i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
