I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
