he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
