I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Found your dick twin last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
