just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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