Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
