dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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