she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
