so explain again why im purple
no
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
