So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
