He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
