I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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