Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
