I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
