so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
