My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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