This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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