the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
