somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
