i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the day after is always just damage control
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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