the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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