Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
