I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
