I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need to sanitize my soul.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
