Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
