She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize