Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize