who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
