I just threw up on my dentist
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
