How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
