their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
