me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
