Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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