So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
