He disabled his match.com account in front of me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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