carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
