Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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