my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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