I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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