i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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