omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
