Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
