All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
