what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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