I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
