It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize