Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
