Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We just shotgunned beers for America
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize