Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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