That's intense
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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