I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Houston, we have a squirter
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
