I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
