awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
