Dual....:-)
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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