I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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