wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
