Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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