Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
